Ako Pa Rin Ang Talo.

A poem I made way back Feb 16, 2016.

Ako pa rin ang talo. 

Iiwanan na kita. 

Dahil sinasaktan mo ako. 

Sa bawat ngiti mo, 

sa bawat tingin mo,

alam ko, 

wala akong puwang 

dyan sa puso mo

Iiwanan na kita 

dahil hindi patas ang oras na binibigay ko sayo 

kapalit lamang ng limos na sandali na kadalasan pa ay dinadaanan na lamang ng hangin, 

lumilipad nang walang pagbalik. Iiwanan na kita 

dahil wala akong napapala. 

ang puso kong nasaktan 

ay nasasaktan ng paulit ulit pa. 

Sabi nila sa pagibig, 

wala kang dapat hintaying kapalit. 

Ngunit bakit kahit anong pilit ko, 

Bakit uhaw pa din ang puso ko 

sa pagmamahal mo? 

Pero alam kong hindi ko pwedeng angkinin ang puso mo. 

Ang puso mong maraming nagmamahal, 

ang taong inaalayan ng lahat ng kanilang mga puso. 

O sige, tatanggapin ko na 

kailan man walang pagmamahal 

na mahuhulog sa palad ko. 

Pero baka pwedeng pasasalamat? 

Kahit utang na loob?

na sa kabila ng pagkabulag mo, 

sa kabila ng pagkamanhid mo, 

sa kabila ng pagkagago mo,

marami ang nagmamahal sayo. 

Mga taong nagpapakabulag sayo, 

mga taong namamanhid sa lahat ng pagkakamali mo. 

Mga taong tinatanggap ang lahat 

ngunit hindi nawawalan ng pag asa na makatanggap ng maliit na pasasalamat mula sayo. 

Pero wala. Nganga. 

Iiwan na kita 

dahil kahit wala kang ginawa 

Ang puso ko, dinurog mo ng todo. 

Baka nga hindi na kayang magmahal pa,

dahil ito'y bugbog-sarado. 

Panahon na para lumaya. 

Panahon na para isipin ko namang maging masaya. 

Pero paano ba matuturuan ang pusong pumili ng kasiyahan sa iba?

kung ikaw at ikaw rin lang ang tinitibok nya? 

Iiwanan na kita, 

pero bakit ganun? 

Sa tuwing nakakapag-ipon ako ng lakas para humakbang palayo, 

bumabaon ang sakit ng puso ko

Inaalis ng unti-unti 

ang hangin sa katawan ko.  

Ano ba ang pipiliin ko?

Mamuhay ng may sugatang puso? 

o umalis at ikamatay ko? 

Hindi lang pala puso ko 

ang iyong inangkin. 

Pati ang aking pangarap,

pati ang aking pagasa, 

pati ang aking hangin. 

Hindi lang pala ang puso ko, 

pati rin pala lahat ng tapang, 

lahat ng lakas para magawa kong humakbang palayo, 

Lahat na lang, inangkin mo. 

Kahit anong gawin ko, 

Sayo na pala ang buong mundo ko, 

sa huli, kahit anong pagpupumiglas ko, 

kahit anong kagustuhan kong 

itigil lahat ng ito. 

Hindi ka pa rin lilingon,

Hindi ako makakatakbo. 

Sa huli, ako pa rin ang talo.

10 Reasons Why #Elise is Worth Saving

1. Because it is relatable. So many times in the movie that you will realize that you share the same awkwardness, the same crazy conversations with your bestfriend, and the same tongue-tied moments Bert always ends up to.

2. Because you get to see Janine in her most raw, beautiful role to date. Janine makes you realize that Elise is one irresistable beauteous siga, hard headed as can be but with sparks of naivety. Her beauty haunts your memory. I can never forget how she looks at the camera when she and Bert were lovingly eating an ice cream while the camera pulls out to a full shot of them. It was perfect and it hurts when you get towards the end because your memory always brings you back to that perfect shot.

3. Because the story is unfamiliar, yet familiar. You thought it was told in a different way, yet there is this familiar feeling that makes you realize its honest depiction of what you really do and what you really feel when you deal with yourself. When the wholes world is not watching.

4. Because the timeline was reinforced by some Regal classic movies. Nora and Pip, Shake Rattle and Roll, Vilma. Take a guess!

5. Because Victor Anastacio reminds us of our bestfriends who would drive you into pouring out your true feelings and get distracted while your'e in the middle of it but still would stick with you up to the end.

6. Because ice cream is everything. Ice cream sprinkled Bert and Elise's love story. It's one of the hundreds of depictions of a beautiful hurt. It carried a lot of memories that you didn't know grew on you.

7. Because it is honest. It showed you a story of this guy and how he went through his life, dealing with this stubborn girl who happens to be the love of his life. Just like witnessing how life unfolds in an extra personl level. Him sharing his honest to goodness feelings.

8. Because it is simple. Peeking through Bert's life without the grand gestures, the walling cries, the extravagant dialogues. No hugot lines, no theatrics. Just like how we go through our lives everyday. its simplicity will get you, entice you and break you into pieces in the end without a hint. I was hit and blown away.

9. Because its iressistably charming. You wouldn't know that it already got you until you come to the point were you just cried with it. it charmed you into planting something you did'nt know from the start, unknowingly grew inside you and just tears you apart when its time to pull it out. You never realized it stuck in your memories of beautiful moments and reminded you the pain at the time you didnt know you were carrying. Something that you can't trace but can feel and in the middle of that mystery somehow you understand what Bert is going through. unforgettable feels, Direk Joel. Unforgettable indeed.

10. Because it is by far, Enchong's Best. I am trying my best to separate the bias because I always believed in this guy and my love for him has another universe of its own. I watched it all over again. And in three occassions, I was caught by Bert, not Enchong's charm; his uncontrollable moments of surrender when it comes to Elise. His awkwardness, his pain, his struggles, his dreams, his capability to love. Elise, her beauty and her imperfections will not be as beautiful and mesmerizing without seeing it through Bert's eyes. Its how his dreams intertwined with the woman he loves which the universe played with over and over again. Well played for a simple character with complex feels. Its his journey of love in general. The chaos within, carefully handled. Heart is wounded, with scars like a tattoo - a beautiful hurt.